Sometimes it’s about the mindset blocks - not the academics
I want to tell you real quick about one of my coaching clients, Brian. He came to me for some academic tutoring for math. He was in a classroom situation that not, not Brian, but other children in the classroom had caused major disruption. There seem to be not a whole lot of classroom expectation or behavior help. So it was a little chaotic in there and because Brian was quiet and he went with the flow, he sort of fell under the radar as the teacher was dealing with children with some major behavior issues. But what that happened is he ended up being really far behind and his parents recognized that they recognized the chaos because some other things had happened that had instilled some fear in Brian and they switched schools.
When they switched schools, the new teacher noticed how far behind he was in math and that's when they asked me to help with some academic math tutoring. But the first thing I noticed was Brian had some major mindset blocks about even attempting math. And really when you think about, he was in a chaotic situation. He already had fear, maybe not about math, but about the situation at school. There were some emotional triggers that were happening. So the first thing we did was we worked on the mindset issues surrounding his math because once we work on those mindset blocks, then we can actually get to the learning and the academics, which his parents were very open to. They were a little hesitant at first. Like we just need them to get caught up in math. But I, I sort of showed them the process and how working on those mindset issues will actually in the long run help him way more than if I just pounded math in. And actually, pounding math in is not going to help. He's not going to be able to absorb that math because he's already blocking out with the fear and the mindset issues.
And one of the major things that I helped work with was the emotional check-in chart with him and then the growth mindset mantras. And those are both in the book*. And so I urge you to click on those or go to the free resources at therootedfamily.com and check out all of the charts can really help you. But those two in particular, the emotional check-in chart and then the growth mindset mantras so he could sort of start self-talking himself through those, uh, cause what they were seeing at home was some major frustration flareups in him. As soon as you brought up math and math homework, it would trigger him to have a very frustrated reaction. And they felt like homework was taking forever. There was lots of crying involved. There was lots of, you know, reluctance to do it or refusal to do it. And so using the systems in the book and using the charts in the book to help him walk through growing that confidence, growing that resilience, taking down those walls of mindset blocks, then he was so much more quickly able to catch up with his math and now he's where he needs to be.
*The book is Parenting Your Frustrated Child: 6 Steps to Getting Back on Track and it includes all of the charts mentioned, plus more! Download it for free!